


Mayhem

by ThedasWitch



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Mayhem, Platonic Relationships, inspired by game banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 16:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6086845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThedasWitch/pseuds/ThedasWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lanyla and Iron Bull come up with what is either a fantastic plan or a terrible one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mayhem

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by some of Bull's banter with Sera.
> 
> Otherwise known as, "When it takes too long for companion banter to trigger, I make up my own."

“So, Bull,” said Lanyla, as she made her way along the riverbank. “I was thinking about something you said the other day.”

“I say a lot of things, Boss,” he replied, scanning the area around them for potential threats. “Gotta be more specific.”

They’d been on the Exalted Plains for nearly a week, fighting undead, bandits, and demons alike. Iron Bull, Dorian, and Varric had accompanied the Inquisitor, and the four were on their way to investigate an ancient elven burial ground. 

“The thing you said to Sera. About  _ mayhem _ .”

Bull laughed, the sound echoing over the water. “No shit, really?”

“Yeah,” Lanyla said. “And I was thinking… You said Sera was the only one who you could throw, except for Varric.”

“Hold on a second, Goldie,” said Varric. “When did I end up a part of this?”

“You’re not, don’t worry,” said Lanyla. “Anyway, Bull, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m  _ at least _ as small as Sera. Probably smaller, actually. So…”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Sweet Maker… don’t tell me you’re considering this, Neela.”

“Just think about it, Dorian,” she said. “Next time there’s a group of Red Templars, or demons, or one of those packs of wolves, flanking them would give us an advantage, right? So you set off a fire mine to distract them and Varric fires off a few bolts with Bianca, I head for Bull, get a running start…”

“You’ll need to have your staff out first,” said Bull, apparently committed to the idea now. “Don’t want to worry about it once I’ve got you in the air.”

“Right, of course,” the Inquisitor said, and continued. “So I’m running towards you, my staff in my hand--oh, and my blade hilt in the other, just to be prepared--and I jump up, ready for you to grab me.”

“Yeah, but should I actually grab you?” asked Bull. “If I stop, grab you and  _ then _ toss you, you lose all the momentum from the running start.”

“Shit, you’re right,” said Lanyla, and paused, thinking for a moment.

“Oh, and we can’t have  _ that _ , can we?” asked Dorian. “What’s the point of a ridiculous stunt if you lose all your momentum?”

“Hush, Sparkler,” said Varric. “I want to see how this plays out.”

“Don’t encourage them,” Dorian said. “Your book will be fine  _ without _ the Inquisitor killing herself trying to show off.”

Varric laughed. “Are you kidding? I could never put this in a book. No one would believe it if I did. I just want to see if it’s possible. I don’t think even Hawke pulled off something like this. Call it professional curiosity.”

Dorian heaved a put-upon sigh and shook his head.

“What if instead of grabbing me, you just boost me with your hands?” said Lanyla, ignoring Dorian and Varric’s conversation. “Like helping me mount a horse?”

“That might work,” Bull said, nodding. “So you run up…”

“With my staff,” added Lanyla.

“With your staff, right… And I bend down and cup my hands for you to step into.”

“Perfect! And once you’ve got my feet, you  _ push _ , and boost me up over their heads!”

“Nice! Then you land on the other side…” Bull trailed off as he thought it through. “Can you land on your feet, or would rolling and jumping up be better?”

“Hmm… depends on the terrain,” she replied, considering. “I could do one or the other. Either way, it’ll only take a second to land and turn on them.”

“I’ll be wide open while I draw my sword, though.”

“Yeah, but if I drop a fireball before I land, they’ll be distracted, right?” offered Lanyla. “Especially if Dorian helps…”

“No,” said the other mage. “I refuse to get involved.”

Lanyla waved a hand at him. “No matter. One fireball would still give you enough time, right, Bull?” He nodded. “Perfect. So once you have your sword out on one side, and I have my arcane blade on the other, we charge…”

“And catch the bastards in the middle!” finished Iron Bull, laughing triumphantly. “I like the way you think, Boss.” He clapped her on the back, lips twisted in a crooked smile.

Lanyla grinned up at the Qunari, golden eyes sparkling. “Just think, Bull…  _ mayhem _ .”

**Author's Note:**

> I love any feedback you have, so leave comments, kudos, whatever you like!
> 
> And check me out on Tumblr, [autisticinquisitor](http://autisticinquisitor.tumblr.com/)! I love messages, and I'm currently taking new prompts and betas. :)


End file.
